My underwear smells like fireworks.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
