"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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