Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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