my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
