Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
