I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
