idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
