even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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