is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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