Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
