Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
