4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
