I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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