i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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