Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
