Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
