Do you still have your period?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
