I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
