next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
