Tell her she can't have a vagina
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
