The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
