i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
