"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
