The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sext me about skeletons
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
