where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
