the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
