brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
