i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
