called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
