just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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