Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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