Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
