There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
