I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
