she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
