You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
