look no pants
home. puking in laundry basket.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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