GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
