It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just found puke in my bra..
She even gives head with a lisp.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
