He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
