Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I met the friendliest cop last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
