I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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