Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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