he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
