Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
