I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
