she looked like the bat from fern gully.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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