turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
