yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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