My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
